Just Like Clay, Motherhood: Imperfectly Beautiful

Motherhood often feels like molding clay—messy, unpredictable, and anything but perfect. One moment, you're capturing the beauty of a child’s laughter, and the next, you're knee-deep in dirty diapers and tears, questioning your abilities. This journey is filled with surprises that challenge our ideas of perfection. Just like clay, the beauty of motherhood shines through its imperfections.

The Unrealistic Ideal vs. The Raw Reality

Societal Expectations and the Pressure to be Perfect

Many new mothers feel immense pressure to meet unrealistic standards. Studies show that about 1 in 7 women experience postpartum depression, highlighting the struggles many face after giving birth. This pressure arises because mothers constantly ingest societal expectations that often portray an ideal mother as loving, patient, and perfectly organized. In the harsh reality, motherhood is full of love but is rarely organized and honestly we can only be expected to have some much patients before we have a good shower breakdown after bedtime. 

The "Highlight Reel" vs. The Everyday Chaos

Social media often presents motherhood as a highlight reel—perfect photos of smiling kids and spotless homes. In contrast, everyday reality involves chaotic moments and messy homes. For example, a mother may snap a picture of her toddler's playful giggle, but what you don’t see is the tantrum that followed five minutes later. These social posts are simply highlighting fleeting beautiful moments. Those moments pass and chaos follows just for those beautiful moments to peek through again in the future. This cycle is ok! New mothers should not beat themselves up because of it. 

Embracing the Messy, Authentic Self

Instead of striving for an unattainable ideal, embracing authenticity can provide relief. Here are a few things to keep in mind in order to help manage expectations:

• Accept that imperfections are normal.

• Share your struggles with friends or family.

• Carve out time for self-care.

• Know that the momentary breakdown is normal. 

• Just because you had a bad day does not mean you're a bad mother. 

• A messy home is a happy home. 

• No one has an aesthetically pleasing home all the time. Your outdated kitchen and bathroom gets the job done just fine. 

The Art of Self-Compassion

Cultivating Self-Kindness

Self-compassion is vital. To practice it, consider these tips:

• Speak to yourself kindly, as you would to a friend. In all honesty, we would never beat others down the way we do ourselves. 

• Grab that coffee on your way to the grocery store. Those small moments of comfort are important and it is worth taking a few moments of your day to remind yourself you're worth it. 

• Allow yourself to feel emotions without judgment. You are human and you are allowed to be angry, excited, sad, overwhelmed, overjoyed, and anything in between. Having feelings will not scare your children. Finding healthy ways to cope and express those emotions can help form your children into emotionally stable, healthy adults. 

Prioritizing Self-Care

Integrating self-care into your daily routine is complicated in the busy life of a mother. I won’t be one of those bloggers that lie to you and tell you I have a 20 minute skin care routine and get up extra early to enjoy my coffee before the baby wakes up. In truth, I roll out of bed when I hear the baby wake up. I am lucky if I put makeup on everyday, sometimes I only eat at dinner, and TV only happens after the bedtime routine is complete. However, here are a few things I manage to squeeze in everyday to practice self care. 

• I journal when the baby is napping. If I have thoughts, feelings, or ideas that I need to get out of my head I make sure to write them down during one of the baby's naps. I write until my mind is cleared…or until he wakes up. 

• I make my coffee as soon as possible and actually sit down to drink it. It may not get finished while it is hot but I make sure I get a few good drinks in and mentally prepare myself for the day. 

• I video chat my support system daily. As a work from home mom I refuse to let isolation get the best of me. 

• I stopped putting pressure on myself to be the breadwinner, the world's best mother, the most active friend, and the most available daughter all at once. I decided in my mind to accept that I can only do so much in a day and that has to be enough. 

By prioritizing self-care, you recharge your emotional batteries.

Celebrating the Imperfectly Beautiful Journey

Redefining Success in Motherhood

Success in motherhood doesn't stem from spotless homes or perfect children. Instead, it blooms from connection, laughter, and shared experiences. Redefining success allows mothers to find joy in the little things without the weight of unrealistic standards.

Finding Joy in the Everyday

Joy can be found in simple routines. Consider starting a family tradition, like sharing a funny story at dinner or story time as a family before bed. Look for small moments to celebrate daily, as these often create the most cherished memories. 

The Lasting Legacy of Imperfect Motherhood

An imperfect journey leaves a lasting impact. As mothers embrace their unique paths, they teach their children valuable lessons about resilience and authenticity. The beauty of motherhood lies in its messiness, making it a colorful tapestry of love and learning.

Motherhood is a beautiful mess, filled with ups and downs. By embracing its imperfections, mothers can find strength, joy, and wisdom. The journey encourages growth, self-discovery, and deeper connections with others. Celebrate the imperfect beauty of motherhood and cherish each moment. Embrace the journey and remember, it's the imperfections that make it all worthwhile.